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Logline critique please

Posted: Jan 24, 2013 5:42 am
by monumentalwords
Hi guys,

I'm in the development stage of my script and would like your views on my logline if that is cool?


An apathetic atheist investigates the sinister history of his local cemetery, aggravating an age-old feud between the Church and an ancient evil.

Re: Logline critique please

Posted: Oct 02, 2013 12:34 am
by lordhornasstr
Remove - Apathetic
Remove - Sinister
Remove - Aggravating - replace with 'starting' OR 'intensifying'
Remove - his local - replace with 'a'

Best Regards,