Logline critique please

So now you have an outline. Where do you go from here? Discuss getting past FADE IN:.
monumentalwords

Logline critique please

Postby monumentalwords » Jan 24, 2013 5:42 am

Hi guys,

I'm in the development stage of my script and would like your views on my logline if that is cool?

MONUMENTAL WORDS

An apathetic atheist investigates the sinister history of his local cemetery, aggravating an age-old feud between the Church and an ancient evil.

lordhornasstr

Re: Logline critique please

Postby lordhornasstr » Oct 02, 2013 12:34 am

Remove - Apathetic
Remove - Sinister
Remove - Aggravating - replace with 'starting' OR 'intensifying'
Remove - his local - replace with 'a'

Best Regards,


LH


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