DEATH-MATCH - Need logline/synopsis feedback please

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Leebo23

DEATH-MATCH - Need logline/synopsis feedback please

Postby Leebo23 » Jul 17, 2010 11:33 am

Hi Fellow Writers,

I have recently completed an action thriller screenplay entitled "DEATH-MATCH" and would love to hear your comments on the logline and synopsis. Any constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you'd like to read the script, I'd be happy to email it to you.

Thanks a million,

Leeo23

LOGLINE:

An ex-mercenary must stop a maniacal CEO from using his DNA to create a futuristic gladiator game designed to control every mind on the planet.

It's The MATRIX meets UNIVERSAL SOLDIER!

SYNOPSIS:

In the near-future, a massive sports gaming conglomerate is killing the world's elite fighters and resurrecting them to battle as mind-linked cyborgs in an addictive live-action gladiator game called: "DEATH-MATCH". When an ex-mercenary wakes from a coma with amnesia, he learns from a captive scientist that he is a new prototype warrior for the ultra-violent game, and the only means of escape is to fight for his life, destroy the game and take down the maniacal CEO hell-bent on using "DEATH-MATCH" to enslave the minds of millions.

Leebo23

Re: DEATH-MATCH - Need logline/synopsis feedback please

Postby Leebo23 » Jul 19, 2010 11:45 am

Hi Fellow Writers,

This is a revised synopsis for DEATH-MATCH.

In the year 2025, ex-mercenary Mason Gunner wakes from a coma with amnesia and finds himself turned into a drug addicted cyborg forced to compete on the brutally lucrative Pit-Fighting circuit to stay alive. As he fights his way toward the world championship, Gunner learns from captive scientist, Dr. Milton Fienes, that he is part of a sinister plot by the sports gaming conglomerate CyborTek to launch a vastly more profitable sport called: “DEATH-MATCH.”

Reluctantly created by Fienes as a mass mind-altering gladiator game for CyborTek CEO Tiberius Foster, “DEATH-MATCH” will allow players to safely transfer their minds into the resurrected bodies of Pit-Fighters killed in battle and fight opponents in spectacular slugfests to the death. Players literally become their enhanced cyborg fighter, thus elevating combat to a dangerously addictive level of reality never before experienced.

Caught in a web of deception, Gunner, with the unlikely aid of Fienes, must fight to regain his life, destroy “DEATH-MATCH” and stop Foster from enslaving the minds of millions for profit.

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Re: DEATH-MATCH - Need logline/synopsis feedback please

Postby Chris Huntley » Jul 19, 2010 1:59 pm

If you have not already done so, you should see the film "Gamer." It has some similar thematic and plot points.

Your story clearly is not the same, it just has some similarities of which you may wish to be aware.
Chris Huntley
Write Brothers Inc.
http://dramatica.com/
http://screenplay.com/

Leebo23

Re: DEATH-MATCH - Need logline/synopsis feedback please

Postby Leebo23 » Jul 19, 2010 5:56 pm

Thanks for your comments Chris.

I did see GAMER and agree that my concept is similar, however the story execution is vastly different. I read the GAMER script and thought it was pretty good. There were obviously a few plot points that could have been developed better, but one of the reasons I think AVATAR worked and GAMER fell short was that "gamers" want to escape their limited bodies and upgrade to a more powerful or enhanced version of themselves or someone else. If I were a "gamer", I wouldn't want to just control my cyborg fighter, I would want to become my fighter, experience the rush of battle and have real-time access to my fighter's enhanced martial arts skills. Think, THE MATRIX meets UNIVERSAL SOLDIER in the real world.

I believe that DEATH-MATCH addresses these issues with several wicked twists that both AVATAR and GAMER are missing. Just my biased opinion.

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Chris Huntley
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Re: DEATH-MATCH - Need logline/synopsis feedback please

Postby Chris Huntley » Jul 25, 2010 9:27 pm

I look forward to seeing it on the big screen.
Chris Huntley
Write Brothers Inc.
http://dramatica.com/
http://screenplay.com/


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